BSG episodes 10, 11

Hand of God and Colonial Day
Hand of God
Previously on BSG: Spacey Cylon points out that CapricaSix hates BoomToast2. CapricaSix points out that BoomToast2 "thinks she loves" Helo, "can't live without him"; PopAdama tells Starbuck to train new pilots; and The Pres is taking alternative drugs for cancer.

This time: We're looking for Unobtanium (fuel). And, of course, the Cylons are sitting on it. PopAdama says, well, we'll have to take theirs. P.S. - The Pres is hallucinating, big time. That's a lot of snakes.

PopAdama whispers to Starbuck that he needs her out-of-the-boxness for the plan Apollo and CrustyAlcoholic are working on.

The Pres. has found a wise black woman to consult about her snakes. Oh, and there's a prophecy about a caravan and its leader and the snakes as a sign of things to come. Sweet!

Starbuck tells Apollo that his plan is too obvious. New plan involves decoys and the hope that Cylons will fall for them. And some casualties. And they can't just nuke them (unstable, blah, blah). So Baltar...yeah. Baltar asks HeadSix to advise him. HeadSix slinkily tells Baltar to come to Jesus. God doesn't take sides, but you have to ask him nicely.

Does Tricia Helfer have any other line delivery settings?

PopAdama rolls up on Starbuck's physical therapy to tell her she can't come play with the Cylons this time. She is, of course, gutted. And Apollo is obnoxiously defensive (but also right about Starbuck doubting him).

YAY - HELO! Helo finally asks why there haven't been any living human beings since the one BoomToast2 shot (who was actually another Six). He's clueless, but really cute. And BoomToast2 is pukey. Pregnant?

PopAdama has a lucky heirloom for Apollo. It's a nice moment, until AdamaJunior gets defensive. But, PopAdama is surprisingly effective with the man-love. I feel you, Apollo, but you have got to man up.

Back on Caprica, the soldiers are spooning. And the Cylons are coming. Sucks to be them. Ah, and Helo sees Six (who obviously knows where they are). Wheels, turning... And how is he jumping on that leg?

R. points out, rightly, that they do a good job of making the Old School Cylons scary. I posit that it's the sound. Their marching sound is the equivalent of the Jaws music.

So far, the Unobtanium plan is working. But we're getting our information from BoomToast1, so...And Baltar paces nervously. He feels that his guess about where the reactor is was less than divinely inspired. Oh, and now the attack force is outnumbered. I wonder if Apollo will do something out of the box that saves the day? Perhaps while rubbing his lucky lighter?

Newbie gets shot, goes boom in a big way. Bad news. Also? Galactica under attack. Baltar seems surprisingly concerned with the wellbeing of - oh, wait, he's on that ship too. Nevermind.

Ah, but there's a back door. So it was part of the plan? Hooray - extra fighters hiding in the decoy! But they still need Baltar's info to be correct. But they're jamming their guidance systems, so they'll have to get in close. Like a knife fight. And people are going down left and right. But Apollo has an idea. Which looks a lot like Star Wars for a minute. And then it works, which is very exciting. I think Baltar is crying. Also, I hope Apollo tells Starbuck to suck it. Happy Celtic-ish music ensues. And there's celebrating. But no Ewoks.

Now HeadSix wants Baltar to know about the Pythian Prophecy, because "all of this has happened before; all of this has happened again." Led by serpents numbering two and ten - the vipers. Though the something favored the few, it led to a confrontation at the home of God... Sounds ominous. Six tells Baltar that he's part of God's plan, and Baltar finally drinks the KoolAid. And stikes a Jesus pose, which R. rolls her eyes at. I concur.


Colonial Day
Previously on BSG - Helo watches Six die, then sees her again; Old Apollo takes people hostage, gets a ship for his reward.

Now on Cloud 9 the remaining journalists in the world are doing a piece on the gathering that's coming for the Interim Quorum. Main journalist is anti-Roslin. Someone is packing a whole bunch of weapons. Wallace Gray is also under fire. I've never seen him before. R. says, "He's gonna die." I think she's right. And Zareck wants to be a delegate. Or he already is? I can't tell. PopAdama obviously wants to talk about this. Tom Zareck is a threat, which Roslin understands. She thinks, though, that it needs to play out. Zareck is making a statement on how humbled and moved he is to be nominated as Sagitarion's delegate. Power to the people, etc. And, they're sending Baltar, who is very busy not testing people for Cylon-ness, as Caprica's delegate to the Quorum of 12. Starbuck is his security.

Cloud 9 will obviously be tough to secure. And now the soldiers are playing with a water hose. And  an assassin is making it through security with a weapon. And the beautiful environs of Cloud Nine are CGI (in the show, I mean).

Longshadow from True Blood/the PE teacher from Glee is playing a pro-Zarek heavy. Not surprisingly, Tigh is not shaking Zarek's hand, but his wife is being civil. To get their picture taken. "Roslin is the past; Zarek is the future," she says. Roslin shakes hands and air kisses. Zarek gives her a "nicely played" and says he's not the enemy. Somehow, I'm not convinced.

Baltar is taking a nap on his desk during the Quorum. HeadSix wakes him up to see some reporter pulling a Sharon Stone. Also gives him free run on nookie, because she's got his heart, hich she could always rip out. Nice.

Zarek points out that no one has mentioned electing a VP. I mean, what if Roslin gets shot? By a sniper? Who's in the room right now. Six tells Baltar to second that idea. Nominating VPs now. Obviously Zarek gets nominated. And the railroading has begun.

Apollo reminds them that Zarek is charismatic. This guy (who we'd never seen before) is Roslin's pick. Which means this is a setup. Or that Wally will get killed. Or both.

Zarek says it's time to move on, stop holding on to the fantasy of the past, blah, blah (cookies coming out of the oven are more interesting than the dialogue at the moment).

Apollo somehow lets Longshadow hit him in the face with a bottle, and now Apollo and Starbuck are brawling with citizens. But it allows Starbuck to see the dude with the gun, who is now disarmed.

Meanwhile, on Caprica, Helo's brain is trying very hard. He thinks the Cylons are cloning people, which is close, but no cigar. BoomToast2 argues for the clones having feelings and just getting indoctrinated wrong. Yeah, that's not going to work. He's going to hate you when he figures it out. If you're lucky, he'll give you another chance because of the hybrid you're growing (we've decided that it's so). Yeah - Helo says, bullshit - they're Cylons like the rest of them. Yeah, that's going to be a strain on the relationship.

Apollo, Starbuck, and Roslin assume that the the shooter is with Zarek, which I'm not sure is a good guess. Roslin wants Zarek under surveillance. I guess they don't know about Watergate?

Apollo makes an ill-timed threat - not sure what that's supposed to accomplish.

SkankyTigh flirts with Zarek, who shays he's looking for a friend (the attempted shooter). Huh. Oh, and now the attempted shooter is dead - wrists slit, though I'm not sure he did it himself. Roslin thinks Zarek had him killed. I think it looks too much like Zarek had him killed for that to be true.

Baltar is talking to the press, which is probably not a good idea. He's talking up Roslin, but I'm pretty sure he just got himself nominated for VP, because Roslin is smart. Unfortunately, Baltar is batshit crazy. Or, you know, an instrument of god.

Roslin tells Wally the news. He seems awfully bitter about this for someone who didn't want to be a politician.

And why are there so many bathroom scenes in this show? With Baltar in them.

OK, I thought it was going to be Six coming out of the stall, but it's the reporter. R. and I agree that the whole "se in a bathroom stall" scenario is just icky.

Apollo and Starbuck continue flirting.

And the vote is a nail-biter. But Baltar wins.

And Starbuck does actually clean up well - well played, wardrobe!

Zarek comes to give Roslin another "nicely played," and tells her that he didn't kill the attempted shooter. And that he'll see her when the presidential election rolls around.

Roslin and PopAdama talk politics and dance. I so need them to hook up.

SkankyTigh is obviously plotting w/Zarek. Which is a really bad idea.

And, on Caprica, Helo and BoomToast2 have a moment before trying to infiltrate the Cylon bunker for a ship. BT2 start the, "If something happens..." Helo does the, "You don't have to say it...I know" thing. No, honey - you don't know. You have no idea. But I suspect you're about to get one.

And there's Six again. Ooh, two of her. HOLY CRAP, THERE'S A BOOMTOAST! How did BoomToast2 *not* realize that was going to happen? BT2 shoots anonymous BoomToast, clearing the way for them to get in, but Helo takes one look and BOOKS IT out of there, flashing back to incriminating memories all the while! BoomToast 2 calls after him, but he keeps running. Sadly for him, he will not be able to outrun the epiphany that his new girlfriend is a toaster.

Whew. That was stressful.

OK, so R. and I just figured out that we're at the two-part season finale - must procure season two immediately, so we have it on hand when we watch the end of season one next weekend! So many questions. Will any new Cylons be revealed? What kind of damage can SkankyTigh do before the end of the season? Now that PopAdama and Roslin have danced, they've got to butt heads again, right? Will BoomToast2 catch Helo before the other Cylons do? And how the hell does she think she'll stop him from going back to BSG, WHERE THERE IS ANOTHER ONE OF HER? Speaking of BT1, will she blow anything else up? AND WHEN WILL SOMEONE FIGURE OUT THAT BALTAR IS *NOT* TESTING FOR CYLONS?!

Holy crap, this show is INSANE! If I weren't watching with someone else, I would watch it all right now.