Fug Madness, Round 1, part 1 (Cher and Bjork brackets)

CHER BRACKET
Rita Ora (1) vs. Adrienne Bailon (16)
How much fug did top-seed Rita Ora have to bring to make me vote her over play-in "winner" Adrienne Bailon, who played her way in by wearing something Heather has dubbed a "vagkin"? See. For. Your. Self. Heather described that last one as "what concussions look like," and she is not wrong. I gave myself a concussion once. I was in a canoe, and there was a low-hanging tree branch, and my common sense/understanding of physics failed me, and I would accept that outfit as an artist's rendering of the first seconds after impact.

Vanessa Hudgens (8) vs. Katie Holmes (9)
Holmes works really hard to look really bad, but my vote went to Hudgens', whose fugwear has a nutballs flair to it that amuses me.

Jennifer Lopez (5) vs. Elizabeth Banks (12)
I like an underdog, and I worry that the brilliance of Heather's J. Faux "voice" give an undue advantage, so I voted for Elizabeth Banks over Jennifer Lopez. I think the victory will go to Lopez, but it felt like the right thing to do.

Jessie J (4) vs. Selena Gomez (13)
This one was a real blowout. This is terrible, but it's no match for this.


BJORK BRACKET
I think my overall bracket is going to take a big hit here.

Katy Perry (2) vs. Gemma Arterton (15)
As tragic as this is, I feel like Katy Perry's kook-fug is often derivative -- a little bit Madonna, a little bit Britney -- and always trying a little too hard. So I'm going with Arterton, because what? Why? I'll admit, though, that I like this one, but only as long as the pale stripes are actual dress (interesting), and not see-through (tacky). It's a little crazy, but I think it works on her.

Nicki Minaj (3) vs. Krysten Ritter (14)
I'm pretty sure I was sober when I filled out my bracket, but I somehow picked against Nicki Minaj. I'm sure I must have had a reason, but I can't remember it. Whatever that reason was...come on.

Lindsay Lohan (6) vs. Alexa Chung (11)I just can't with LiLo anymore, so I had to protest-pick Alexa Chung. This *is* really bad, though, so...

Naomi Watts (7) vs. Lena Dunham (10)I was sort of meh about this matchup. I mean, this is fugly. So is this. But I think I really voted for Dunham because Naomi Watts' husband makes it hard for me to focus on her clothes. And because she wore this.